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I'm self conscious
This is just a rehearsal. Not the real thing.
Which I'm very grateful for because. In the real thing, my body will look different.
My body will move differently.
I will be dressed very differently.
My underwear will not peak out.
My hair will be done.
My makeup will be done.
I will look very magical.
And other worldly.
The setting will be right.
Not pedestrian.
Not so average.
I will not look so average.
I will not be so average.
...In the real thing.
But luckily this is just a rehearsal.
In the real thing, my glasses won't fly off and I won't hit the fucking lamp when I get excited.
In the real thing, when I get excited, my face won't look weird.
I won't be quite so embarrassingly hairy in the real thing.
My belly will be flatter and my arms will be bigger.
My sense of rhythm will be sharper.
My dancing will be far more engrossing.
I won't lose steam.
I won't lose the thread.
I hope, when it's time for the real thing...
It will come across just how much I love to dance.
I hope that the real thing will somehow leave people feeling empowered to let themselves dance like their bodies were made to, in whatever way: big or small or bombastic or subtle.
To allow themselves to follow the threads of movement and the spark of the flow of the rhythm of whatever song helps them feel a little more alive today.
I hope I'll know when it's over... When it's the real thing.
Thank god this is just a rehearsal.
I don't know...
What do you think?
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